Videoland Martial Arts Tournament 2001
by Sun Wolf
Summary: Videoland's 23rd annual anything goes martial arts tournament. (Inspired by the "World Martial Arts Tournament" from the Dragonball series) I hope you laugh as hard reading this, as I am while writing it! Please review.
1. The Tournament Begins

Videoland Tournament 2001  


  
Mario: Hey there, ladies and gents! Mario here in Hyrule, at the 23rd annual Anything Goes Videoland Martial Arts tournament.  
  
Zelda: And I'm Princess Zelda! We'll be giving you the play by play commentaries as they unfold in the arena.  
  
Mario: Boy, what a turnout we have today! The arena is packed with fans from all over, and the competition so far has been _fierce _!  
  
Zelda: You can say _that_ again, Mario! There have been fighters of all sorts from all over, fighting for their place in the tournament. We've had almost 250 competitors, and only 16 spaces in the tournament. The preliminaries have been quite interesting, indeed.  
  
Mario: But now the prelims are over, and we have our 16 fighters confirmed by the judges. I have the chart right here, folks! In slot #1, we have Musashi, from Brave Fencer Musashi!  
  
Zelda: In slot #2, from Final Fantasy 2, Golbez!  
  
Mario: In our 3rd slot, Frog from Chrono Trigger!  
  
Zelda: 4th slot, hailing from Castlevania, Alucard!  
  
Mario: 5th up, Kefka from Final Fantasy 3!  
  
Zelda: In our 6th spot, Chun-Li from Street Fighter 2!  
  
Mario: In slot #7, from right here in Hyrule, Link!  
  
Zelda (spacing): Oh Link, what a guy....  
  
Mario: Um, Zelda?   
  
Zelda (snapping out of it): Oh! 8th up, from FF3, Rydia!  
  
Mario: Zelda, I think she's from FF2. Anyway, qualifying for the 9th slot is Sabin, and he _is_ from FF3!  
  
Zelda: Our 10th slot goes to Magus, from Chrono Trigger!  
  
Mario: Claiming the 11th slot in our tournament, The Mana Knight from Secret Of Mana! Say, does anybody know that boy's name? I don't seem to have it on file.  
  
Zelda: Sorry, I don't have it either, Mario.  
  
Mario: Oh well, I guess I'll just give him a name of my own. I'll call him.... Alefigazo!  
  
Zelda: Mario! What are you thinking?! You can't call that boy, 'Alefigazo'!  
  
Mario: Why not?  
  
Zelda: Because it's more than 6 letters!  
  
Mario: Ok ok, I'll just call him.... Bob!  
  
Zelda (smacks forehead): Anyway! In our 12th slot, Cecil from FF2!  
  
Mario: #13 is Crono from Chrono Trigger!  
  
Zelda: Our 14th slot is occupied by Edgar, from FF3!  
  
Mario: Slot #15, Ryu from Street Fighter 2!  
  
Zelda: And in our 16th slot, our defending champion from Metroid, Samus Aran!  
  
Mario: Now that the fighters have been announced, We'll go over the rules for those in the audience who are first timers. You may use any fighting style or special skill you want.   
  
Zelda: All weapons are allowed, with the exception of firearms, and energy weapons.  
  
Mario: Protective gear is limited to cloth like gear, shields, rings, pendants, and other trinkets. While shields are allowed, no other hard armor is allowed. No helmets, metallic body armor, etc.  
  
Zelda: You are out of the match if you are put out of commission, go out of bounds, or declare that you give up.  
  
Mario: Alright! Now that everything's been announced, the judges are signaling the start of the first match. Musashi is starting things off by throwing Fusion at Golbez.   
  
Zelda: He missed! Golbez retaliates with Lit3. Direct hit! Musashi is staggering about, trying to shake it off.  
  
Mario: Golbez attacks again, and paralyzes Musashi with his Hold gas!  
  
Zelda: Musashi is helpless as Golbez is now summoning a shadow dragon. Ooohhh.... I can't look! Tell me when it's over, Mario.  
  
Mario: The shadow dragon has demolished Musashi. Darn, I was hoping the match would last longer. Golbez has been declared the winner! Oh, you can open your eyes now, Zelda. It's over.  
  
Zelda: The ring has been cleared, and our next fighters are coming out to the ring for their match. Frog looks like he's ready. He has his masamune drawn, and is waiting for the signal to begin.  
  
Mario: Alucard looks like he's ready to fight, too. He has his sword ready as he takes his position in the ring. And there's the starting bell! Alucard lunges forth, swinging his sword at his foe! A near miss as Frog jumps back!  
  
Zelda: Frog hits Alucard with his Leap Slash attack! Alucard counters with a quick swing of his sword, catching Frog off guard, _almost_ knocking him from the ring.  
  
Mario: Good recovery! If Frog would have slid 3 more inches, he would have been out of the ring. Now Frog is charging back into the fight!  
  
Zelda: Ohhh! A leaping kick from Alucard knocks Frog to the ground. The referee has started his count. If Frog stays down for a ten count, Alucard will be the winner.  
  
Mario: Frog is up at 6! Alucard is using his Soul Steal attack. Frog is staggering now. He's casting a spell.   
  
Zelda: What the... Th.. there's a huge frog dropping onto Alucard!  
  
Mario: Ah yes, Frog's patented Frog Squash spell! The weaker Frog is, the more damage this spell does! The frog is gone now, and it looks like Alucard has been totally mangled! The referee is counting.  
  
Zelda: Alucard is out for the count! Frog is the winner for this match!  
  


***************  


  
Sorry the fights were so short. I'm determining the outcomes by the throw of the dice. I figured it was the only fair way, since I did _not_ want to play favorites in any way. I wanted the fights to last longer, but I had rolled some rather devastating attacks. I'll try to have longer fights in future chapters, especially in the higher tiers of the tournament. Next chapter: Kefka vs. Chun-Li, and Link vs. Rydia.


	2. First Tier Part 2

Videoland Tournament 2001  
Chapter 2  


  
Mario: For those of you who blinked, the first 2 fights in the tournament were unbelievable. In the first match, Golbez beat Musashi without even breaking a sweat!  
  
Zelda: And in the second match, things didn't go Alucard's way when Frog beat him with Frog Squash!  
  
Mario: They didn't go to well for me, either. Dang it, I had 500 coins bet on Alucard to win! Arrrrrgh!  
  
Zelda: Well, don't say I didn't warn you. Oh wait, I _didn't_ warn you. Ok, you can say it then. Looks like the third match is starting. Kefka appears to be laughing maniacally as he enters the ring.  
  
Mario: And here comes Chun-Li. Chun-Li looks quite serious as she takes her position. There's the starting bell, and Chun-Li wastes no time in taking to the air. She nails Kefka with a triple leap kick! She flips around and connects again with a roundhouse kick to Kefka's face!  
  
Zelda: Kefka shakes it off, and uses Fallen One on Chun-Li. Uh oh, with no healing skills in Chun-Li's bag of tricks, this could be an easy win for Kefka.   
  
Mario: Chun-Li looks desperate. She uses her famous Lightning Kick to even the odds. Just look at her pummel her opponent! Kefka looks like he might be ready to call it a day.  
  
Zelda: Kefka manages to break free of Chun-Li's attack. Kefka uses Hyperdrive on Chun-Li, and she is out of there.   
  
Mario: The next match will start in a few minutes, right after a short commercial break.  
  
(Some commercials play for those watching on TV)  
  
Mario (returning from commercials): Welcome back for our home viewers. Zelda has decided to go ringside for this match. Covering for her is Frog, who is taking a break after his victory over Alucard.  
  
Frog: Tis a pleasure to make thine company, Mario. From this vantage point, tis mine pleasure to announce thine play by play in Zelda's absence. Link doth enter the ring, and I trust he is ready for whatever doth challenge him.  
  
Mario: And here comes Rydia. Both have taken their positions, and there's the starting bell. Rydia steps forward, and lashes at Link with her whip.  
  
Frog: Tis a miss for the Caller of Mist. Such _irony_. Link retaliates, and takes the first blood of the match.  
  
Mario: Rydia doesn't look too happy. She summons Shiva, and Link is blown out of the ring. Ring out! Rydia wins the match!  
  
Frog: What is this?! Mayhap Rydia went too far? For now Zelda hast run into thy ring, and is now bitch slapping Rydia!  
  
Mario: Ok, the referees have removed Zelda from the ring.   
  
Frog: It would appear the referees will need to seek medical attention, though. Twas no easy task to partake in removing her.  
  


***************  


  
Next chapter: Sabin vs. Magus, and the Mana Knight vs. Cecil.


	3. First Tier Part 3

Videoland Tournament 2001  
Chapter 3  


  
Mario: Welcome back, Zelda.  
  
Zelda: Thank you, Mario. Sorry about that.  
  
Mario: It's ok. Sabin and Magus are entering the ring, now. Looks like Sabin is declaring himself the winner before the match has even begun.  
  
Zelda: Alucard doesn't look all that worried. In fact.... Did I just see him _yawn_???  
  
Mario: Looks like he did. There's the starting bell, and Magus is starting things off with Fire 2!  
  
Zelda: Too bad nobody told Magus that Sabin brought a Fire Shield with him. Sabin's shield has absorbed the fire, and he retaliates with a suplex. Ouch, I bet _that_ hurt.   
  
Mario: Magus recovers, and uses Ice 2. Looks like that Fire Shield couldn't stop _that_! Sabin doesn't look too happy.  
  
Zelda: Can you blame him? I don't know of anybody who would look happy after being hit on the head by an oversized ice cube! Sabin is casting a spell.  
  
Mario: Magus has disappeared! Sabin must have used Vanish on him. What could Sabin have planned for Magus?  
  
Zelda: Sabin casts Doom! Magus reappears just in time for us to see him collapse to the ground.   
  
Mario: Sabin is declared the winner, and Magus is being carried off to be revived. Don't worry folks, there is a special field in the arena that prevents fatalities. Magus will be fine after a short nap. And on a lighter note, it's time for our first interview.  
  
  
Zelda: Our first guest is Aerith, from FF7. How are you, dear?  
  
Aerith: I'm great. It's good to be here, Mario and Zelda. Would either of you like to buy some flowers?  
  
Mario: Sure, I'll buy some after the interview. Remind me, ok?  
  
Aerith: You got it.  
  
Zelda: I don't get it. Didn't you get killed by Sephiroth??? How can it be that you're here?  
  
Aerith: What, you've never heard of Life 2? I'm sure the _Squaresoft developers_ haven't.  
  
Zelda: Huh? What's Life 2?  
  
Mario: It's a spell for bringing the dead back to life with max hit points.  
  
Zelda: Oh.  
  
Aerith: Yeah, I can't believe you didn't know that.  
  
Mario: Anyway, How about filling us in on how you did in the prelims?  
  
Aerith: Sure. In my first match, I was put up against Mega Man, but he was disqualified for using an energy weapon.  
  
Zelda: What was he _thinking_??? All competitors are _told_ the rules.  
  
Aerith: I know. Anyway, my second win was just as easy.  
  
Mario: Who were you up against?  
  
Aerith: Sephiroth. I beat him because I was using my "Make anyone who uses a Masamune, fall out of the ring" materia, and boy was he _mad _!  
  
Squaresoft developer (rushing in): We at Squaresoft deny all rumors of that materia! It doesn't exist!!! We also deny all rumors of Aerith being brought back from the dead in fanfics! So just disappear, you figment of some weirdo fanfic writer's imagination!   
  
Aerith (throwing out the Sqaresoft developer): Anyway, I lost my third match to Rydia.  
  
Zelda: Grrrrr.... I'll umm, be right back.  
  
Mario: Sit _down_, Zelda! As for you, Aerith, thank you for talking with us.  
  
Aerith: No problem. Now, how many flowers would you like to buy?  
  
(Commercials play for the TV viewers)  
  
Mario: Welcome back. Next up are Cecil and Alefigazo.  
  
Zelda: Ahem!  
  
Mario: I mean, Cecil and _Bob_. There's the starting bell.  
  
Zelda: Bob Lunges at Cecil with his spear. Cecil is grazed, and retaliates with his sword to Bob's Midsection.   
  
Mario: Bob is knocked down! The ref is counting.  
  
Zelda: Bob is up at 4! Cecil Swings at Bob again. Bob gets hit, but at least he's still up this time.  
  
Mario: Bob uses his Flammie drum.   
  
Zelda: There goes Flammie. He flew overhead, and is gone now. What was the point of that?  
  
Mario: I have no idea, but Bob looks kinda embarrassed.  
  
Zelda: Cecil is taking the opportunity to attack again. Aww, he missed.  
  
Mario: Bob is really taking that Flammie thing, seriously. Just look at him have at Cecil!   
  
Zelda: He missed! Now he hit! Cecil is on the ground! The ref begins his count.  
  
Mario: Bob isn't stopping! He's grabbing Cecil, and throwing him from the ring! Well, I guess it's a ring out. Bob wins the match!  
  
  
  
  
  


***************  


  
Aw man, I was hoping Cecil would win. Oh well. Next chapter, the first tier fights come to a close with Crono vs. Edgar, and Ryu vs. the defending champion, Samus Aran.


	4. First Tier Part 4

Videoland Tournament 2001  
Chapter 4  


  
Mario: Crono and Edgar are up next. I talked to Edgar, and he said he's eager to get into the ring.   
  
Zelda: What about Crono?  
  
Mario: He wouldn't talk to me.  
  
Zelda: Oh well. The two are entering the ring, and there's the bell. Crono starts things off by rushing at Edgar with his katana.   
  
Mario: Edgar moves back, but still gets nicked by that katana. He casts Vanish on Crono! Crono is no longer visible.... Could this be a repeat of his brother's fight with Magus?  
  
Zelda: Edgar has just been knocked to the ground! The ref is counting...  
  
Mario: Edgar is up at 6! He's chanting...  
  
Zelda: Edgar is hit by Luminair! Wha...? Why didn't it work???  
  
Mario: Probably because of Edgar's Paladin Shield. Things look rather grim for Crono. Just as I suspected! Edgar had cast Doom, just like Sabin did. Look! There's Crono. He reappeared just in time to flop onto the floor.  
  
Zelda: Edgar has been declared the winner. Mario, who are we interviewing?  
  
Mario: Today we're interviewing Chrono Trigger's Dream Team: Magus, Frog, and Ayla. Here they are, now. Welcome to the Media Tower.  
  
Frog: Thank you, tis an honor to be here.  
  
Magus: Zelda...  
  
Zelda: Yes, Magus?  
  
Magus: I heard your commentary during my fight. Why did you call me ?  
  
Zelda: Did I?  
  
Frog: Aye, that you did. Mayhap it was unintentional?  
  
Zelda: Yes, it was an accident. I'm sorry, Alu- I mean Magus.  
  
Magus: ......  
  
Mario: Anyway! Why are they calling you three the Dream Team?  
  
Ayla: Ayla Frog Magus fight Lavos! SAVE WORLD!  
  
Zelda: Uhhh, right... Ayla, How did you do in the preliminaries?  
  
Ayla: Lost in first match. Stupid judges... Bet judges Reptites!  
  
Mario: What are-  
  
Magus: Don't get her started...  
  
Zelda: Who were you up against?  
  
Frog: Twas I. Twas almost a draw. Her Dino Tail and mine Frog Squash were nearly equally matched.  
  
Ayla: Big frog... Hit Ayla. Head _still_ hurt.  
  
(Cheering is heard)  
  
Magus (Looking at the arena): Looks like you two need to get back to work. The next match is starting.   
  
Mario: Ok. Ryu and Samus enter the ring. Ryu steps forward, confident as always.  
  
Zelda: Samus comes into the ring, waving to the crowd. Just listen to that applause! Looks like everyone is behind our defending champion, all the way!  
  
Ayla (pointing): Look! Samus have CHEERLEADER!  
  
Zelda (looking where Ayla's pointing): Oh wow, look at her! She's jumping and shaking those pompoms like there's no tomorrow!  
  
Magus: I've never seen a cheerleader with a _moustache_, before....  
  
Mario (Looking through binoculars): Oh my gosh, It's _Luigi_! What's he _doing_?! I knew Weege and Samus were dating, but this is taking things a little _too_ far! (snickers)  
  
Zelda: There's the starting bell! Ryu starts with an attempt to punch, but Samus moves just in time! Samus retaliates. She throws a bomb at Ryu! Ohhhh, I bet _that_ hurt!  
  
Luigi: Yahhhhh!!!! Go Samus, Go! Ra! Ra! Ra!  
  
Mario: The bomb blast threw Ryu out of the ring. Ring out! And it looks like they finally fixed the intercom system, so we can finally hear what's going on down in the ring.  
  
Samus: I won! Yesss! Ohhh Luigi.... Mmmm, does this mean you want to wear the nightgown, tonight?  
  
Everyone in the Media Tower: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  


  
  
*******************  


  
  
Ugh, the champion fights, and it's over at the start. I feel rather.... cheated. Oh well. The first tier fights are over, and the Quarter Finals are next. In the first half of the Quarter Finals: Golbez vs. Frog, and Kefka vs. Rydia!  
  
Oh, about the "Dream Team" remark: My first time through Chrono Trigger, I fought Lavos with Magus, Frog, and Ayla. I've refered to them as my "Dream Team", ever since. 


End file.
